Sunfall Read online

  Whiteness was all that greeted me, as though I’d been plunged into some kind of evanescent fog. Carefully, I opened my eyes even further, but either my vision was blurred or the room actually was shrouded in a deep mist. My stomach roiled and I counted to twenty before attempting anything more. After what felt like hours, I had finally regained a full field of vision, but the world was still blurry—due, I was sure, to the head trauma I’d endured from Brenner and his men.

  I tried to sit up and choked violently as something hard and cold struck my windpipe. It felt like a band of metal, and it was suspended inches above my neck. Coughing made the roaring heat in my head echo louder, and I struggled to regain my steady breathing. I was a captive. That was the only certainty. I had to be patient and learn what Brenner had done to me—to think through the pain so I could escape and return to Alexa.

  The white ceiling was broken only by an oval fluorescent lamp. With excruciating slowness, I moved my head as far as I could—only an inch either way—and shifted my eyes to each side. Whiteness everywhere. I flexed my fingers, then my toes. Beneath the dull pounding in my brain, I felt each digit. No damage to my spine, then. Like my neck, my limbs were held to the table by unyielding bands. My arms were stretched perpendicular to my body, and my thighs had been spread wide. I was naked, vulnerable, and open. My wounded leg throbbed, and renewed nausea churned in my stomach as I wondered whether I would feel other kinds of pain when the headache finally subsided.

  Panic welled up to fill the ache in my chest, but as my heart began to race, the pressure in my head grew even worse. I had to remain calm, or I would be of no use to anyone. To distract myself, I exercised my intellect. Brenner needed Tian to complete that infernal experiment on the parasite, but what did he want with me? He had tried to assassinate me on three separate occasions, but if he wanted me dead, why hadn’t he ordered his soldiers to kill me on sight? They’d had plenty of chances, and so had he.

  But the longer I lay there, bound and helpless, the more my logical brain struggled to keep the panic at bay. Thirst burned in my throat, and though I knew that was my body’s natural reaction to being injured, it only increased my sense of claustrophobia. Did Brenner plan to keep me here, bound and helpless, until my appetite drove me insane? Would he gloat over me as I slowly starved to death? Or worse—what if, when my sanity had fled, he offered me a human victim? Would I be able to keep my promise to Alexa and resist the needs of the parasite?

  Deep down, I knew that in such a desperate case, she would feel only sympathy and compassion. She would want me to feed. I could practically hear her voice soothing me, telling me that we would be all right. Reminding me that she had brought me back once and could do it again. But I didn’t want her to have to say those things. I wanted to be stronger than my appetite, strong enough to uphold the vows I’d sworn both to her and to myself. For now, I had to find a way to sublimate my thirst—to transform it into a motivating force and not a crippling one.

  But as time passed—whether in minutes or hours, I had no way of knowing—the roaring in my head was eclipsed by body-wracking shivers that jammed my windpipe against the metal ring. I coughed uncontrollably, tears running down my cheeks to plink onto the metal slab that was my prison. Had Brenner given me something to send me into these paroxysms? Or were they simply my nervous system’s reaction to the trauma and stress? Flashes of heat and cold surged beneath my skin like electrical currents, and dimly I wondered whether I was becoming feverish. Within moments, a layer of sweat had coated my limbs and was trickling down onto the table. Closing my eyes, I fought to keep my muscles loose and relaxed.

  Mercifully, the trembling finally subsided. The sharp waves of pain in my head refused to let me sleep, but for a while I found myself able to drift somewhere between consciousness and oblivion. And then a door opened, sending discernable eddies through the air current. The reverberation of heavy footsteps on a bare floor increased the throbbing in my head. Even as my senses strained for some clue about my visitor, I stared straight up, mouth set in a grim line. No matter who it was, I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of seeing anything resembling fear or uncertainty.

  A broad finger dipped into my navel, and I barely managed to suppress a shudder. The foreign touch moved slowly up until it came to a halt between my breasts. Brenner’s smiling face entered my field of vision, and my lip curled in disgust as his features swam in and out of focus.

  “Valentine Darrow.” His voice was jovial. “You have been such a thorn in my side. And now, look at you.”

  I held his gaze and my tongue, vowing to remain unbroken no matter what he did to me. When he left my field of view and began to pace the length of the room, my every muscle tensed, dreading the return of his touch.

  “You’ve been lying here for several hours,” he said conversationally, as though we were discussing the weather. “I offered you to my soldiers—both the men and the women. Not a single one of them wanted anything to do with you. How does it feel, Valentine, to be so utterly repulsive that no one will so much as rape you?”

  I wanted to laugh in his face. Only a genocidal psychopath would consider that an insult. Abruptly, he loomed over me again, his smile even wider.

  “On the other hand, I’m sure they’ll have no such compunctions about your lover. When the time comes, I promise you’ll have a front row seat.”

  I spat in his face, but he had expected it and dodged easily. Despite my vow not to show any emotion, I didn’t regret what I’d done. Never, ever would I let him or his cronies touch Alexa. I would find a way to stop him, no matter the cost.

  “But perhaps by then, your priorities will have changed,” he continued. “Soon, you will become part of my little experiment. Once I’m done with you, you may not care about your precious Alexa at all. I really must thank you for allowing me to kill two birds with one stone, as it were.”

  I had no idea what he was talking about, and the question must have shown in my expression. He laughed again.

  “Are you really so ignorant? Since the Consortium rushed to protect Tian, I can only assume that you’re aware of the modified parasite and how it can be engineered. I stole six samples—true. But the Sunrunner variant was not the only missing piece of the puzzle.”

  Epiphany dawned like a bomb blast. The sample from the blood prime of the Missionary clan had been from my predecessor, René, whom Brenner had killed. It was useless. Brenner needed blood from me to complete the experiment—blood that, I was certain, he had already collected. Frustration lashed through me like a lightning storm, and I ground my sharpened teeth together.

  “Once we have successfully engineered the hybrid parasite, you’ll have the distinction of becoming a lab rat. Apparently, breeding this parasite in the circulatory system of a blood prime will fix it in its current form. So even if I do kill you, or that Sunrunner cunt, this specimen will continue to function.” He bared his teeth in a smile. “Incidentally, Helen’s notes suggest that the infection process is exquisitely painful. My words, not hers.”

  I could barely comprehend his gloating. My brain spun wildly, refusing to process his sinister promise. In craving the blood of vampires, I would be doomed to hunt them down until they were extinct. And then I would die of starvation.

  “That expression on your face is priceless, Valentine. Pity I don’t have a camera.” Brenner’s footsteps retreated. “In the meantime, I haven’t yet decided whether I’ll move you into more humane facilities, or let you piss all over yourself on this table like the vermin you are. In the meantime, enjoy contemplating your fate.”

  And then he was gone.

  *

  Time passed. At least, that’s what I told myself. The light never changed, and no sound penetrated into the room. I had no way of marking the hours, and after a while, I caught my psyche trying to play tricks on my rational mind.

  Maybe you’ve always been here, it whispered. Maybe Alexa was only a dream. Or wishful thinking. Or a figment of your imagination. Maybe yo
u died in the lake, or at the hands of Brenner’s soldiers. Maybe this is hell, and your mother was right after all.

  Once I realized that I was on the cusp of hallucination, I fought back with Descartes. I think, therefore I am. I exist. I can remember the chain of events that brought me here, and one day, I will escape. Alexa is still alive, and I will find her. We will bring Brenner to justice and then we will live out the rest of eternity together, at peace in each other even if the world itself goes up in flames.

  I had to keep my brain sharp and my psyche strong. Forcing my thoughts back in time, I sifted through my memories of Alexa, desperate to cling to every sensual detail. To anchor myself to her even as oblivion threatened from within and without.

  Suddenly, the cogs of my mind caught and latched onto my memory of our second date—of the moment when I had finally been convinced that my growing fascination with her was not one-sided. She had put me through my paces on that day, but for as long as I lived, I would never forget how strong she had made me feel. Even if I lost all sanity, some part of me would remember. I had to believe it…

  The Niagra was exceptionally busy on the second day of the new year. New York City was still overrun by tourists, and the unseasonably warm weather meant that everyone was out and about. The bar was packed, and all the newcomers wanted elaborate mixed drinks. My arms were in great shape, but by eleven o’clock, soreness had crept into my muscles. And the crowd showed no signs of diminishing. In a rare lull just prior to midnight, I finally managed to gulp down water and check my phone. I had one text, and when I saw the name attached, my pulse skyrocketed.

  Central park, Columbus Circle entrance. Tomorrow, 10 a.m. Dress to run.

  At first, I thought she might have sent the message to the wrong person, but then I realized I didn’t care. Except for one brief, fairly formal thank you e-mail the day after our elaborate dinner date almost a week ago, Alexa had been silent. I had replied with an open invitation to go out in the future but had heard no response. Now, apparently, I had a date tomorrow. Whether the text had been intended for me or not.

  As I jogged up the stairs leading out of the subway the next morning, I glanced at my watch. Ten minutes to spare, though I had a feeling Alexa liked to be early. Sure enough, once I made my way to the park entrance I saw her stretching out her quads near the main gate. She wore a light blue windbreaker, and she’d pulled her red hair back into a long ponytail. Black leggings clung to her muscular thighs and sculpted calves, and she effortlessly maintained her balance even as she switched legs. Quite simply, she was breathtaking.

  I could tell the moment she caught sight of me, because her body went still and her eyes widened ever so slightly. In the next moment, she adopted a look of nonchalance, but that single instant gave me a burst of confidence. I’d chosen my silver Under Armour shirt because it highlighted the muscles in my arms and abs while leaving no doubt that I was a woman. Apparently, she approved.

  “Good morning,” I called as I approached her.

  “Hi. Glad you made it.”

  “Wouldn’t have missed this for the world.” I grabbed the fence a few feet away and began stretching out my calves. “I can’t believe how warm it is.”

  “I know. Crazy. So, how late was your night?”

  “The tourists were still out in full force. Didn’t make it home until three.”

  “And here I made you get up early.”

  “No place I’d rather be.” I switched to stretching out my hamstrings. “Besides, I’m bad at sleeping in.”

  “Why is that?”

  I rose slowly out of the stretch, looking up to meet her questioning gaze.

  “I don’t know, exactly. Guess I’m not that good at relaxing, in general. There’s…there’s just a lot to do.”

  Leaning back down, I mentally cursed myself for my vague and ineloquent answer. Now she probably thought I was some kind of hyperactive idiot who could never sit still. But then I felt her touch on my shoulder.

  “I know what you mean.”

  Drawing myself up to my full height, I raised my arms above my head to loosen the taut muscles in my shoulders. She was looking at me thoughtfully, and I wondered if she really meant what she’d said. The restlessness that burned at the core of me wasn’t something I had discussed very much with past girlfriends. They’d thought I had it all—the last name, the access to money, the connections. I had never known how to tell them that I didn’t really care about those things. That I was driven to make my own mark on the world. Was Alexa someone who might empathize? Would she be—could she be—someone in whom I’d truly be able to confide?

  When color bloomed in her cheeks and she suddenly looked away, I wondered what she’d been thinking.

  “Ready?” she asked, gesturing toward the open gate.

  “Whenever you are.”

  She walked out onto the asphalt and broke into a jog. I fell into step with her, welcoming the warm air into my lungs. Had it not been for the utter bareness of the trees, this could have passed for a morning in early April.

  After descending a shallow slope, our road merged with the long loop inside the park. Alexa hadn’t told me how far she wanted to run, and I wasn’t about to ask her. I just hoped I could keep up.

  “Let me know if you need to slow down at any point,” she said.

  “I’ll be fine.” Glancing sideways, I grinned at the challenge in her eyes. “Set any pace you like.”

  Immediately, she sped up, and I lengthened my stride to match. As we rounded a curve and headed uphill, we found ourselves passing many of the other runners. Currently, I did most of my running on a flat treadmill, and my calves protested the incline, but I ignored them and concentrated on taking deep, even breaths. When we reached the top of the hill, I realized we were breathing in synchrony. Suddenly exhilarated, I turned my head to watch her move. Ponytail bouncing against her shoulders, arms pumping steadily at her sides, face flushed and glistening, she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. And what I loved most of all was that she was allowing me to see the real “her,” not just the version in a little black dress. I had invited her to dinner with the intent to impress. She had invited me on a run with the intent to show me her true colors.

  Our eyes met, and I stumbled slightly. She reached for my arm, fingertips lingering even after I’d regained my balance.

  “What?”

  She had showed no pretense, so I didn’t either. “You’re beautiful.”

  Laughing, she pulled her hand away and picked up speed. “I think we need to go even faster.”

  We ran for over an hour—through the park and then down along the West Side Highway—before Alexa slowed to a walk. After we’d stretched out, she led me to a small, nondescript diner in the West Village. She claimed it served the best Oreo milkshakes, so I ordered one along with a massive breakfast burrito topped with avocados. Technically, I’d probably had a better brunch or two, but in that moment nothing could compare.

  For over an hour we sat across from each other at a table next to the window. Alexa insisted on paying. She also insisted on talking politics. When I balked, she took my hand and entwined our fingers. My heart began to race far faster than it had even on the steepest climbs of our run.

  “Look, Val,” she said, rubbing her thumb very gently across my knuckles. “I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable or dig up dirt about your family. I don’t really care about them at the moment. But I’m starting to care about you, and I want to know what you think about…this.” She waved her hand in the air. “Life. New York. The country. The world.”

  Stuck on her soft touch and the part about her starting to care about me, I quickly mustered my wits.

  “Okay. I’m sorry if I seemed defensive. I guess I’m just not used to that.”

  “You’re not used to other people caring what you think?” She sounded incredulous. When I shrugged, her eyes narrowed. “What about past girlfriends?”

  “You might find this hard to believe,” I said q
uietly, “but it’s been a long time since I pursued someone. Women tend to want me for my last name and my family’s money, not for my intellect.”

  Alexa arched an eyebrow and squeezed my fingers. “Not this woman. Now. You’re studying to become a doctor, so you must have some thoughts about the health care crisis. Let’s hear them.”

  Eventually, we had to give up the table, but when I offered to walk her home, she agreed. She shared an apartment in SoHo with several friends, and this time I was the one to join our hands as we began to walk. We took our time navigating the spidery streets of the Village, both of us apparently unwilling to end the conversation. She was passionate and well spoken—a true believer in social justice—and I was starting to think that her political views leaned even more heavily toward the left than did mine.

  “So,” I said as I steered her around a sidewalk puddle, “how does someone who just identified as ‘practically a democratic socialist’ decide to study corporate law?”

  She smiled. “Sometimes the best way to change something is from the inside, isn’t it? I think I’ll be better able to accomplish my goals if I have an intimate knowledge of all the gears and cogs inside the behemoth.”

  “You don’t think you’ll be tempted to turn to the Dark Side?”

  “Well, probably at some point. I just have to trust that I’m strong enough.” Her eyes met mine, appraising. “Is that why you didn’t follow in your father’s footsteps? Temptation?”

  It felt like she was staring right into my soul, and I had to stop myself from looking away. Her insight made perfect sense. How did she see so much?

  “Maybe. Probably. I’ve never thought about it that way before.”

  She pulled me under the awning of a flower shop and reached up to twine her arms around my neck. Her fingertips stroked my hair as she eliminated the space between our bodies, bringing her chest flush with mine. My head spun as I let my palms come to rest on her hips. She felt incredible in my arms, and it was so hard to resist the impulse to dip my head and kiss her.